Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Amazing Experiences...

I was just thinking about some of the amazing things God has allowed me to experience recently... Boston Aids Africa, Fire and Ice (if you have never been...GO!), Wide Awake (check out Andy's new season of ministry, moving to Northborough, being involved in Youth Group at CoTC:)... I'll post some pics to show the fun:)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Christmas Challenge...

I was watching the news this morning, and they had this segment on "black friday deals". I couldn't help but think about all the money that is going to be spent this season on material things, flat screen tv's, game systems, and on and on...even in a year they are predicting will fall short of what companies "need" to sell...all this when there are people all around this world who don't even have a home to go to for Christmas, or food to eat, children who have no mom and dad to share christmas with... if we took all the money we spend each christmas on 'stuff', and put it towards REALLY helping others! By helping other I don't mean helping others enjoy their tv better by buying them another one:)... but helping those who really need our help!!
So, thats my Christmas challenge! Not just for you, but for me as well... take what we have, and then some and use it to help those who need our help! Make this Christmas season like none other, a season that is supposed to be about giving and do just that...GIVE!! If you need ideas please write, there are so many opportunies all over, from people right here in the US to those in countries all over this world!! Merry Christmas!!! Hope this is the best Christmas ever for all of you, and for those you reach out too as well!!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

In a Fog...

So I am one of those people who get quiet when I am feeling down! I am afraid to open my mouth, because everything that comes out in times like these, are useless, or worse even hurtful! I have wanted to have answers for friends in need today and instead silence... I began this blog so I could journal good and bad days, and as tough as it is to admit it, its been a few tough days! His mercies are new every morning, and I cling to that now as I lay my head down to rest!
On a lighter more shallow note, I am getting my hair done tomorrow, and will soon be blonde with bangs again:)...I'll have to post pics when I get it done:)

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Wanted to thank God for good friends!! After Andy and I married young I struggled with how disconnected we felt from peers, while they finished college, and we prepare to be parents! Now six years later I feel the most blessed I have been in my entire life with Amazing Friends, who love God, and encourage me in my walk with Him!! Thank You God for answering prayer, once again beyond what I even thought possible!!!!

the Sun is almost Rising...

I never thought I would say this but my new favorite time of day is right before the sun rises! Most around are sleeping, and for this brief time in the day the pace of life is so much slower!! As I sit again in my dining room,(did I mention I really enjoy my dining room?) I was reading in Galations, and 1 Corithians to learn more about God's Spirit and His work in my life! If anyone has not done a study I encourage you to do it, cause its only been a couple of weeks and already I have gotten so much out of this study!
It was such a good reminder today that surrendering, and choosing not to live as "mere man" (1Cor3:1-3) is a daily thing, not a one time deal, sometimes for me a moment by moment surrender!
So may each of us who know Him today choose not to live as "mere men" since we have this incredible gift of His spirit alive and working in us! Imagine what could happen if each of surrendered each moment....

Monday, November 17, 2008

1John 4:4

So Paul and I have been pretty tight recently..the more I read his writing in the NT the more I feel like we would have been good friends if he were still around!
I was brought back to the passage in Romans 7, you know the whole I don't don't do what I I want to do, and I do what I hate...etc! At the risk of sharing too much, I thought I would be honest in struggle that has been the hardest for me to articulate! I struggle on and off with depression, and have for the past few years I guess! Its one of those things where I want to just not feel like this anymore, and in my head it seems like something I should be able to just shake off and keep running, but then somehow the weight I feel keeps me at best crawling forward!
I have been dragging a bit recently, and feeling Paul's frustration when he writes in this chapter, cause often times, though I don't see my depression as a sin(some may argue that point and thats ok), my response to it can be very sinful! My flesh begins to rise up in me as my desire to control takes over, and I grab onto the wheel instead of leaving everything at the foot of the cross! So I find myself in this place, where I want to do what's right, and find myself not doing the things I want to, and worse here I am doing the very things I don't want to do...Ugh!
So, this morning as I sat before my Savior, with no words, and honestly feeling a little low on faith, He met me...there in my dining room at some insane hour of the morning, My incredible loving God spoke to my heart through His Word!! He said,
"Princess, your are from me (God), and have overcome them, for He who that is you, is so much GREATER than he that is in the world!!!!"
I was reminded that I can leave this pain, this battle in His hands because He is so much greater than all of it...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

"to will and to work for His good pleasure..."

Romans 7:14-25 "I have the desire to do what is right but not the ability to carry it out"
A simple truth strikes me this morning! The work or sanctification is not something I accomplish in myself, but rather the work of the Holy Spirit within me!!!
I get so frustrated with myself when I continue to give in to the flesh, or fall into things, and my instinct is "try harder Bethany", when really I need to be surrendering once again, and laying things at the foot of the cross...letting God do His work in me instead of trying to stay in control and be what I think God wants me to be!
Surrender is such a tough thing for me honestly! I like to be in control, and know what to expect, and the idea of handing it over to someone, trusting, and relying on freaks me out!
I want to grow in this, and learn to let things go, and not feel as though I need to control everything/everyone around me! This is such a HUGE lesson for me, and its something I cannot do on my own, it will only be the work of the Spirit within me! "Lord this is my prayer today...take control, not my will but your be done..."

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Lies, Lies, Lies

I woke up early this morning and headed to the gym...From the moment I woke up it seemed as though Satan was after me with his lies! Lies about who I am to God, and basically I was feeling like the worst person ever, and did not want to even look at myself in the mirror! Ugh!
How quickly then I began to allow these thoughts to settle in my mind, and I could feel my countenance change, and suddenly this feeling of hopelessness set in...seriously, hopelessness? Here I am a child of the King, bought, paid for by Christ's death, and sealed by His spirit! I am His, and even though I don't understand it always, the TRUTH, is that God has amazing things to say about His love for me, how He looks at me, and who I am to to Him!!
So today Devil you can take your lies and eat them, cause I know Jesus is truth, and in His word is truth, and He tells me, "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus", "I am fearfully and wonderfully made"....

Monday, November 10, 2008

Walk in Love

I was reading in Ephesians today about walking in love, and thinking on Tommy's message last night a Fuel... I realize how much of a doer I am, and "pleasing man" is such a struggle of mine! I get that way with God so quickly, wanting to make Him happy, and please Him, to do the right thing, sounds terrible I know:)...but seriously I have way too often been in the place where it becomes about doing, and not about loving, where my actions are not overflowing out of my love for God, but are more a response to my desire to always 'do' the right thing!
I want to love God...I mean really LOVE Him, and I realize how much I have to learn about what it really means to love! For things to not be about me, or what I get out of it, but to truly die to self!! I am realizing more and more that as much as I desire quick fixes, and instant results, this is a journey. "Lord continue your work in my heart today, fill me with your spirit, and teach me your love...For those who don't know you still, I ask that today they might get a glimpse of you, and want to know more, and that all of us who know would be ready to share!!!"

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Home from Philadelphia...

I had an amazing time this weekend in Philly! Last minute I got a few tickets to Revolve so myself, Hannah, Ella, and Kelly decided to hit the road! Six hours in the cars is a sure receipt for good memories, and cramped bums:)! Good times getting there, and then to just be there....for those who don't know I have a passion for speaking to teen girls/women, and Revolve is one of those tours I dream of speaking at someday, so it was so cool to experience it, and pray as we were there that if is God's will He might make a way!
I could spend a lot of time recapping our time, but really I just want t praise God for a time with girlfriends that was encouraging, inspiring, and FuN!!! Good times!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

"I want to Set the World on Fire"

"The spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;" Is 61:1
I am getting ready for work, thinking about what God has for me today, and immediately my thoughts were of those I work alongside of! I have the privelege of serving not only in the church but also outside the walls of the church in our new community at a couple of gyms as well, as coaching a kids soccer team. I have met so many "broken hearted, captive people", and its a reminder to me of what an incredible salvation I have in Jesus, as well as how desperately I need to be sharing Gods truth with my words as well as my life!!
I am a people person...I just LOVE people! All kinds of people...I am realizing it more now that I am around even more people than I have ever been before! I am facinated by how different God has created each of us, and how unique we all are... More than that I desire so much that everyone would get to know how amazing God is! I know that if they could just get a a glimpse, a taste if you will of Him they would want nothing else, and the hopelessness would be replaced with such an amazing hope, and they would know what it means to be free, to have abundant life...that they would come to know what love really is!!! you ever just feel like you could explode you want it so badly.... "God I ask that all over this nation whether it be at workplaces, concerts, church services, on the streets, that your spirit would be working on hearts, that people who do not know you would get a glimpse of you, and want more, and all of us no matter how long we have known You would continue to have such a hunger for you it drives us to our knees, and into your word!!! I praise you for those all over the world who are bringing your truth to those who do not know, and I ask your blessing on them this day!!"

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I am going to REVOLVE!!!


"walk by the spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh" Galation 5:16
I have been a lot of thinking about my relationship with God, and how much I desire to be consumed by His spirit! I am so weary of my flesh, and anytime I have chosen to let it rise in me, and I want so desperately to live this abundant life I know my Savior has for me! I am doing a Beth Moore study, and on the video this week she did well at describing what it is I long for...
That ever part of me right down into the deepest places would be filled with God's spirit, that I would die to self, that my flesh would lay down, that God's spirit might be that which drives me, that which guides my emotions, my choices, and everything about me! I want none of me and all of Him!!!!
I desire to be a vessel that God can use, a life lived to bring Him glory....
I am sure things are gonna get tough, and its gonna be a battle. "Life is war" says John Piper and I am only beginning to understand how true this is! I want to fight, to move forward in this journey and be made more like Christ! I desire to be real as I go, and hope that this blog will be a good outlet for me to be transparent in the good days and bad ones!
I am excited...