Tuesday, December 30, 2008


I am so one of those people who come to the end of a year, and get all reminiscent about the year that has passed, and get excited about the year to come!! 2008 will be one of those years in my life that will stand apart from other years.. It was the year I led my final winter of games at Monadnock, one of my favorite ministries of all time...it was the first year I was the speaker for a teen girl conference, Authentic Beauty, where God confirmed my passion for speaking to young women...it was the year I faced painful truth about my own family, my past, and God revealed Himself to me as a God of Agape...It has been a year of HUGE changes, living with my parents for a while, leaving MBC after 8 amazing years of ministry there, coming to Chapel of the Cross to work with their incredible youth, changing jobs, house, state, schools....CRAZY changes....a year where God took what began in Jan 08 as an ok friendship with Him, and through towering mountain tops, muddy ditches, a ton of hurt, even more joy, and began molding it into an intimate reltionship with Him!!
So, honeslty as I think about 08 and all it held, I can't decide whether to cry, rejoice in all God has done, or run with my hands high to the theme of "Rocky" just for surviving it...I am thinking all of the above might be in order:)!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


I LOVE Christmas, always have!! I must confess though I am one to get caught up in the world's "christmas spirit". Not even all bad things, some of it is the excitement of giving, and blessing others this season! This morning as I sat and pondered Christ, who He was, what his coming meant, the fact that He came to redeem us! I was challenged even in this as I read this morning.... I often see Christ coming as God's way of cleaning up the mess we made, as rebooting His plan at creation, and giving us another shot to know Him as Adam and Eve once knew Him. A thought struck me hard this morning though...God wasn't "cleaning up our mess", and "rebooting His plan", Jesus was His plan all along! He planned to redeem us to Himself, to set us free once again from the bondage of sin, and make a way for us to know Him again!! Then the reality of who Jesus is hit me, and what an incredible gift of Love God gave in sending Him to earth to die that we might be redeemed!!! So, this Christmas more than getting gifts, or even giving gifts, more than seeing family, and eating tons of Christmas goodies, I am most excited to celbrate the birth of my SAVIOR!!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Feeding on God's Word

For a lot of years I have heard different sermons on the Word of God and prayer being like food and water for a Christian. I got it, you know as believers it makes sense that we should desire time with God as we desire to feed ourselves...but need it? I have to admit I never got that, or honestly felt that...desire yes, but to need it the same as physical nurishment?
So, I mentioned in an earlier blog what an amazing new job lifeguarding has been. Its given me 5 hours each morning to spend in the Word, and talk to my Savior! This morning I had the opportunity to share my faith with a coworker who was visiting me in the pool. Her words being, "you can't get much different than us (her and I), myself an atheist lesbian and you being religeous." It was a long conversation to try and mark down, but it went from her asking me what I believed about whether gay people are born gay, or its choice, to my sharing about the Love Jesus loves all of us with, and how as a believer I am called to love others the same!! It was an intense, amazing, challenging conversation, and when she left the room, I sat thinking about how impossible knowing God and accepting His gift is apart from God! In that moment, came this hunger, rather a starvation to eat, feast on His word... it was similar in desperation to my desire for salt a week before aunt Flow comes around...It was then I understood! I finally felt it...the desire for His Word, and prayer like that which I have for food and water!
All this to say it finally makes sense to me...the more time I spend in His Word, seeking His face, not even trying to be what I think I ought, but just spending time in His presence and learning to let Him be in me, the more I desire that time, the more I am aware of how desperately I need this time not as much but more than I need my bread and water!!
Thank you God, for making yourself known to us, through the gift of Your Son at Calvary, and I ask God that You might in Your time open the eyes of Danielle's heart that she might desire to know you, and that in seeking she might find You!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Birthday Wish

I have been reading this book called "Pierced by the Word", and this morning it was talking about pride. It mentioned different ways pride shows itself, and I realized as I was reading just how much pride has a grip on me. I was not really a popular kid growing up, and definitely not the smartest kid in school, so I discovered whit:)... I could joke my way out of any situation where I might come out looking dumb, or being embarrassed! Even if it meant a white lie, or a BIG lie I would talk my way into being right, and sometimes leaving those around feeling embarrassed or dumb! What a horrible habit I have fallen into, and how many I have hurt over the years!! If any of you reading are among that group I am so very sorry! I realized that slowly I have really allowed this pride, to take hold of me and it needs to go!!!
So whats this got to do with a birthday wish? I wonder if you can ask God for something on your birthday? I know realistically speaking you can ask anytime of the year, but since this all came right alongside my birthday, I was thinking what I want more than anything this year, is for my pride to be broken!! I know," never ask for humility or you will receive", but honestly I REALLY need for my pride to be broken, cause I know it will come between me and God, and the more I am coming to know Him the more I am wanting to lay everything down in order to know more!!! I can't afford to hold onto this sin anymore, not matter what the cost of letting go, I want to give it up!

Thursday, December 11, 2008


So God has been doing a work in my heart, placing there a strong desire to LOVE others, like real Agape love! To open my eyes to the world around me, those in need, those hurting, those searching....to get my thoughts, my concerns, and my investments off of myself, and love as God has called me to love!!
If you are like me, the whole idea of helping and giving can be daunting! So many needs, I can't help everyone...once overwhelmed I find myself months down the line having done nothing! Then another moment, a Haiti video, or World Vision presentation, maybe an add on tv, and I get a glimpse again of the need there is, this conviction to help, a realization of how much need there is, I get overwhelmed...and again I do NOTHING!!
So, its time to put a stop to this cycle, to do as I am told in 1 John, and love not only in my words, but TAKE ACTION!!!
I want to help those in need as well as those stuck in my cycle, by beginning a work! I'm calling this ONE DAY!
Basically I will choose one day (probably fall '09) and put out a challenge to people all over the US to give that days earnings, just one day's wages to something beyond themselves, to help others in need. It could be through World Vision, a local homeless shelter, whatever they choose, but give to SOMETHING!!
If you want to get involved, get your youth group or church involved, or maybe you know people or have connections with people who could help spread the word, send me an email at bethanyneedham@hotmail.com, or call me at 774 258 2419 So excited to see what God has in store!!!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

New Job

I began my lifeguarding job Monday, and I have to say for "the most boring job ever" it is the most amazing job I have ever had! I begin at 4:30, and since very few people actually swim at that hour I find myself sitting by the pool, in the silence, reading God's Word, and spending the entire five hours enjoying His presence! I am realizing after only a week, what power the Word of God has, what an amazing love the Father has for us, and what an incredible inheritance we have as believers!!! I ride to work in the morning now so excited for the time I get to spend with my Savior, and desiring so much that as I spend time in His Word, and in prayer that His spirit would work in me, and transform me into His image more and more....a work only He can accomlish!!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Moving Forward

I am working on getting a packet out to camps/conferences to advertise my speaking..Its been a scary,exciting, nervous, weird, all kinds of emotions experience! I am sharing this cause I am at the final stretch, and struggling to get it out...I know God has asked me to do this, and I am excited for what He might have in store, and still there is this voice, this LIE inside that someone left on repeat, telling me again and again how rediculous it is that I would ever consider being a speaker!
I know its lie, not because I am so confident in my having some mad skills:), or even because it feels like a lie(cause honestly it feels very true)..I know its a lie, because my Savior tells me something different in His Word!! There is no condemnation...I have been approved by God to share His truth...
I have no idea what God might have ahead for me, but I know I want to give it all to Him, to truly die to self, and that my life in whatever way it can, might bring Him GLORY!!! No more wasted minutes...

Jehovah Jerah

Its been a while since I have written... I cannot believe its almost Christmas and its taken me this long to get into the spirit! Thanks Maggie for the cd's thats so helped me get there:)!! I am going into this Christmas realizing how incredibely blessed I am and really wanting to pass blessing on to others! Like that movie "Pay it Forward", ever seen it? I won't mark any ideas down here incase some of those people read these, but I did want to write a praise blog:
Praise God for:
My AMAZING family,
Chapel of the Cross
Our Wonderful Home,
Best Friends Ever,
Best Youth Group Ever!!,
Basically God has not only provided for our needs, but has blessed us above and beyond anything I could have dreamed!!!!


Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Amazing Experiences...

I was just thinking about some of the amazing things God has allowed me to experience recently... Boston Aids Africa, Fire and Ice (if you have never been...GO!), Wide Awake (check out Andy's new season of ministry www.andyneedham.org), moving to Northborough, being involved in Youth Group at CoTC:)... I'll post some pics to show the fun:)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Christmas Challenge...

I was watching the news this morning, and they had this segment on "black friday deals". I couldn't help but think about all the money that is going to be spent this season on material things, flat screen tv's, game systems, and on and on...even in a year they are predicting will fall short of what companies "need" to sell...all this when there are people all around this world who don't even have a home to go to for Christmas, or food to eat, children who have no mom and dad to share christmas with... if we took all the money we spend each christmas on 'stuff', and put it towards REALLY helping others! By helping other I don't mean helping others enjoy their tv better by buying them another one:)... but helping those who really need our help!!
So, thats my Christmas challenge! Not just for you, but for me as well... take what we have, and then some and use it to help those who need our help! Make this Christmas season like none other, a season that is supposed to be about giving and do just that...GIVE!! If you need ideas please write, there are so many opportunies all over, from people right here in the US to those in countries all over this world!! Merry Christmas!!! Hope this is the best Christmas ever for all of you, and for those you reach out too as well!!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

In a Fog...

So I am one of those people who get quiet when I am feeling down! I am afraid to open my mouth, because everything that comes out in times like these, are useless, or worse even hurtful! I have wanted to have answers for friends in need today and instead silence... I began this blog so I could journal good and bad days, and as tough as it is to admit it, its been a few tough days! His mercies are new every morning, and I cling to that now as I lay my head down to rest!
On a lighter more shallow note, I am getting my hair done tomorrow, and will soon be blonde with bangs again:)...I'll have to post pics when I get it done:)

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Wanted to thank God for good friends!! After Andy and I married young I struggled with how disconnected we felt from peers, while they finished college, and we prepare to be parents! Now six years later I feel the most blessed I have been in my entire life with Amazing Friends, who love God, and encourage me in my walk with Him!! Thank You God for answering prayer, once again beyond what I even thought possible!!!!

the Sun is almost Rising...

I never thought I would say this but my new favorite time of day is right before the sun rises! Most around are sleeping, and for this brief time in the day the pace of life is so much slower!! As I sit again in my dining room,(did I mention I really enjoy my dining room?) I was reading in Galations, and 1 Corithians to learn more about God's Spirit and His work in my life! If anyone has not done a study I encourage you to do it, cause its only been a couple of weeks and already I have gotten so much out of this study!
It was such a good reminder today that surrendering, and choosing not to live as "mere man" (1Cor3:1-3) is a daily thing, not a one time deal, sometimes for me a moment by moment surrender!
So may each of us who know Him today choose not to live as "mere men" since we have this incredible gift of His spirit alive and working in us! Imagine what could happen if each of surrendered each moment....

Monday, November 17, 2008

1John 4:4

So Paul and I have been pretty tight recently..the more I read his writing in the NT the more I feel like we would have been good friends if he were still around!
I was brought back to the passage in Romans 7, you know the whole I don't don't do what I I want to do, and I do what I hate...etc! At the risk of sharing too much, I thought I would be honest in struggle that has been the hardest for me to articulate! I struggle on and off with depression, and have for the past few years I guess! Its one of those things where I want to just not feel like this anymore, and in my head it seems like something I should be able to just shake off and keep running, but then somehow the weight I feel keeps me at best crawling forward!
I have been dragging a bit recently, and feeling Paul's frustration when he writes in this chapter, cause often times, though I don't see my depression as a sin(some may argue that point and thats ok), my response to it can be very sinful! My flesh begins to rise up in me as my desire to control takes over, and I grab onto the wheel instead of leaving everything at the foot of the cross! So I find myself in this place, where I want to do what's right, and find myself not doing the things I want to, and worse here I am doing the very things I don't want to do...Ugh!
So, this morning as I sat before my Savior, with no words, and honestly feeling a little low on faith, He met me...there in my dining room at some insane hour of the morning, My incredible loving God spoke to my heart through His Word!! He said,
"Princess, your are from me (God), and have overcome them, for He who that is you, is so much GREATER than he that is in the world!!!!"
I was reminded that I can leave this pain, this battle in His hands because He is so much greater than all of it...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

"to will and to work for His good pleasure..."

Romans 7:14-25 "I have the desire to do what is right but not the ability to carry it out"
A simple truth strikes me this morning! The work or sanctification is not something I accomplish in myself, but rather the work of the Holy Spirit within me!!!
I get so frustrated with myself when I continue to give in to the flesh, or fall into things, and my instinct is "try harder Bethany", when really I need to be surrendering once again, and laying things at the foot of the cross...letting God do His work in me instead of trying to stay in control and be what I think God wants me to be!
Surrender is such a tough thing for me honestly! I like to be in control, and know what to expect, and the idea of handing it over to someone, trusting, and relying on another....it freaks me out!
I want to grow in this, and learn to let things go, and not feel as though I need to control everything/everyone around me! This is such a HUGE lesson for me, and its something I cannot do on my own, it will only be the work of the Spirit within me! "Lord this is my prayer today...take control, not my will but your be done..."

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Lies, Lies, Lies

I woke up early this morning and headed to the gym...From the moment I woke up it seemed as though Satan was after me with his lies! Lies about who I am to God, and basically I was feeling like the worst person ever, and did not want to even look at myself in the mirror! Ugh!
How quickly then I began to allow these thoughts to settle in my mind, and I could feel my countenance change, and suddenly this feeling of hopelessness set in...seriously, hopelessness? Here I am a child of the King, bought, paid for by Christ's death, and sealed by His spirit! I am His, and even though I don't understand it always, the TRUTH, is that God has amazing things to say about His love for me, how He looks at me, and who I am to to Him!!
So today Devil you can take your lies and eat them, cause I know Jesus is truth, and in His word is truth, and He tells me, "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus", "I am fearfully and wonderfully made"....

Monday, November 10, 2008

Walk in Love

I was reading in Ephesians today about walking in love, and thinking on Tommy's message last night a Fuel... I realize how much of a doer I am, and "pleasing man" is such a struggle of mine! I get that way with God so quickly, wanting to make Him happy, and please Him, to do the right thing, sounds terrible I know:)...but seriously I have way too often been in the place where it becomes about doing, and not about loving, where my actions are not overflowing out of my love for God, but are more a response to my desire to always 'do' the right thing!
I want to love God...I mean really LOVE Him, and I realize how much I have to learn about what it really means to love! For things to not be about me, or what I get out of it, but to truly die to self!! I am realizing more and more that as much as I desire quick fixes, and instant results, this is a journey. "Lord continue your work in my heart today, fill me with your spirit, and teach me your love...For those who don't know you still, I ask that today they might get a glimpse of you, and want to know more, and that all of us who know would be ready to share!!!"

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Home from Philadelphia...

I had an amazing time this weekend in Philly! Last minute I got a few tickets to Revolve so myself, Hannah, Ella, and Kelly decided to hit the road! Six hours in the cars is a sure receipt for good memories, and cramped bums:)! Good times getting there, and then to just be there....for those who don't know I have a passion for speaking to teen girls/women, and Revolve is one of those tours I dream of speaking at someday, so it was so cool to experience it, and pray as we were there that if is God's will He might make a way!
I could spend a lot of time recapping our time, but really I just want t praise God for a time with girlfriends that was encouraging, inspiring, and FuN!!! Good times!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

"I want to Set the World on Fire"

"The spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;" Is 61:1
I am getting ready for work, thinking about what God has for me today, and immediately my thoughts were of those I work alongside of! I have the privelege of serving not only in the church but also outside the walls of the church in our new community at a couple of gyms as well, as coaching a kids soccer team. I have met so many "broken hearted, captive people", and its a reminder to me of what an incredible salvation I have in Jesus, as well as how desperately I need to be sharing Gods truth with my words as well as my life!!
I am a people person...I just LOVE people! All kinds of people...I am realizing it more now that I am around even more people than I have ever been before! I am facinated by how different God has created each of us, and how unique we all are... More than that I desire so much that everyone would get to know how amazing God is! I know that if they could just get a a glimpse, a taste if you will of Him they would want nothing else, and the hopelessness would be replaced with such an amazing hope, and they would know what it means to be free, to have abundant life...that they would come to know what love really is!!!
AAhhhh...do you ever just feel like you could explode you want it so badly.... "God I ask that all over this nation whether it be at workplaces, concerts, church services, on the streets, that your spirit would be working on hearts, that people who do not know you would get a glimpse of you, and want more, and all of us no matter how long we have known You would continue to have such a hunger for you it drives us to our knees, and into your word!!! I praise you for those all over the world who are bringing your truth to those who do not know, and I ask your blessing on them this day!!"

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I am going to REVOLVE!!!


"walk by the spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh" Galation 5:16
I have been a lot of thinking about my relationship with God, and how much I desire to be consumed by His spirit! I am so weary of my flesh, and anytime I have chosen to let it rise in me, and I want so desperately to live this abundant life I know my Savior has for me! I am doing a Beth Moore study, and on the video this week she did well at describing what it is I long for...
That ever part of me right down into the deepest places would be filled with God's spirit, that I would die to self, that my flesh would lay down, that God's spirit might be that which drives me, that which guides my emotions, my choices, and everything about me! I want none of me and all of Him!!!!
I desire to be a vessel that God can use, a life lived to bring Him glory....
I am sure things are gonna get tough, and its gonna be a battle. "Life is war" says John Piper and I am only beginning to understand how true this is! I want to fight, to move forward in this journey and be made more like Christ! I desire to be real as I go, and hope that this blog will be a good outlet for me to be transparent in the good days and bad ones!
I am excited...